You who have stumbled here are about to read my confession of epic and embarrassing proportions to the person I have fallen in like with!
Feel free to continue reading or to click the exit button if you don't want to scar your eyes with so much cheesy and sad girly feels. Just so you know, I am only doing this because I dared myself to waaaay before and didn't even remember what the heck I was thinking then. And since I did get in? Well, let's just say I don't break my royal promises.
But I did find a loophole to all this, just to spare myself of having to actually die out of sheer humiliation- it's bad enough that this is public and on the internet. I did say that, "I WILL TELL MY CRUSH THAT I THINK HE IS AMAZEBALLS AND I HEART HIM 'CAUSE HE MAKES ME LAUGH LIKE AN IDIOT", but the thing is, I don't have to say it to him directly, he can find out himself. So I'm going to drop this huge ass emo drama bomb, but he has to be the one to figure out that it just landed on his head. And if my being in like was sort of obvious and he can see that it was actually directed to him? I'm screwed. And I can live beyond the valley of stupid and reside in the hills of fail. I shudder just thinking about it..
So here goes. If ever you're reading this. This one's for you.
I think you are amazeballs and I heart you 'cause you make me laugh like an idiot.
Okay I'm done! So glad I got that out of my chest.
I kid, I kid. That was lame. Here's the real confession. And my guts.
Ehem. Here's round two. Drama boooooomb.
~
The thing is I really am in like with you.
I don't know, man. My heart gut went all weird the first time I saw you. I was all, okay what up with that? You just seemed so cool and I assumed you were, but then yeah. Complete opposite apparently.
I mean, I'm a dude that's part girl, crushes happen all the time, right? They come and go and you get more crushes. You weren't any different. And these are girl feels, they'll eventually go away. But noooo, you had to be all up in my face and make my heart burn.
Then add that up to how life always has a way of messing with me and making things more "interesting". How life, being unfair and evil, just dumps me in awkward situations and then puts you in the equation. These don't usually go well: my heart + my feels + you (oh, god) + super random shizz + late night convos + assumptions = Arielle having girl problems. And how was I supposed to know we'd end up real close? And how was I supposed to know that you were going to be oh so random and make me laugh like an idiot every minute? Sheesh.
And so I fell in like.
I'd feel so :I during days I don't see you, and then feel like this :> during days I do. Being able to end the day with you would be a highlight to my boring everyday rituals, something I actually looked forward to. I could do happy dances (in my head) when "something" would happen. I'd be all kilig and look stupid with all the smiling going on. It was like boom! you just made someone macho feel pretty.
But as much as you make me super happy and feel like an actual girl, you also make me feel confused and make things complicated, even without meaning to. There were times when I'd feel like poop, because I don't know what it was that I was doing wrong that offended you or made you annoyed at me. Or when you stopped talking to me and I'd be all, Whuuuuut, seriously bro? It always sucks when you feel like you really don't matter to someone, but it's mostly my fault. I always assume right away and end up ruining things that shouldn't be tinkered with in the first place. So yeah.
I'm a mess, you're a mess and I used to think we can clean each other up. But I don't have to actually be with you be with you for me to be happy and whatevs. I am totally fine just having a platonic relationship with you and still go on like everything's normal as if I don't have the bad case of the like for you. I can totally do that. I swear to Gerard. I really like whatever it is that we have right now and I'd rather have that than something more, and make things more awkward. It sucks that I may never tell you in person, because the girl in me sorts of want to tell you. But I don't want you to feel obliged to say something, and I also don't want you to say, "Dude, that's not cool. We're just friends, don't be weird." to my face. That's like committing suicide, minus the blade and jumping off. I might just straight up cry, and that is not manly. At all.
So yeah, I liked you first and I still do. And I don't want you to forget me, I guess.
Also, I am such a ninja!
- >:)
p.s. Which reminds me, I don't think I've ever hugged you! =)) Fail pail forevs
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