It's amazing that I'm still standing and haven't keeled over from all the stress overload. Also I am amazed that I haven't started packing my runaway from home bag from all the exams I've been failing. I seriously don't know how le smart people do it? Like for someone in a slightly above average IQ it takes a lot of study crazy effort just for me to actually cram stuff inside my brain. And then when the actual test comes my brain just dies from trying to recall all that information. So yeah, I've been failing exams for my major subjects. It's that bad.
I remember back in grade school when I resigned myself to the fact that I will always get line of 7 grades. It's the thought that hey, I'll never get to be smart, I'll never get passing grades for my parents' standards no matter how hard I try. I got content with just seeing my almost passing grades. That "failing" wasn't bad at all. But the thing is- the sad thing is- that was almost 10 years ago. It was a very, very long time ago.
Aaaaand it doesn't help that I'm in college. And I'm sucking in a bad way.
I'm too busy to a point that I can't even vent out in my personal space of the internet. S darn busy that I don't even have the patience to upload pictures for memory's sake. I'm just too blegh all the time. And so very tired. The only thing that gets me going is the thought that I still have to step it up when it comes to my school work and that it's almost Christmas vacation. Meaning it's almost Christmas. Le duh.
Also this afternoon I got a sad slap to the face by reality. It hurt so baaaad.
It was all because I was flicking through channels when me and a couple of friends were watching awhile ago. And I apparently I was the only one who still watched "stupid" cartoons. It just so happened that The Amazing World of Gumball was on CN and I was all, "Yeaaahhh!" and they were all, "Oh my god you still watch this show? How old are you?" What made it even more sad was that they didn't even understand how to "watch" the show. They were asking questions like all the time, and most of the time I was thinking that they were indirectly making me fun of me. But whatevs, man. Sheesh. You just watch and like laugh at the parts that were funny (which meant the whole time) and not have to get anything.
You just watch. But they didn't get it. So I had to change the channel.
Because I was a ninja and ninjas put other people's happiness first.
- >:)
p.s.
I'm sorry for being soupy all the time. Sometimes I feel bad because I feel like I'm surrounded by people who are not-stupid but don't know how to laugh at the simple- kid things.
