Once again, it is by my phone that my world view is rocked. And rocked to the core it was.
I received the news through a text message from a close friend and fellow die hard of the band. Unlike her, I was unprepared for what I was about to read.
I was at the hospital because my youngest brother had inguinal hernia (don't google it unless you have an iron stomach) and access to the internet was the least of my concerns. So when I get the 'IT'S FVCKING OVER' text message, I didn't really know what to believe in anymore.
Probably a few weeks ago, I little birdie told me that her connections told her that My Chem was going to have a concert here in the Philippines. So you can only just imagine how I felt that day. I was saving up for a concert, instead, the separation of my favorite band in the entire world happened.
Saturday, I was on a denial high, I just couldn't accept it. The band had been around for twelve years. I barely knew them when their 3rd album came out. So if I do the math right, give or take I had at least seven years investment in the band I recognized as the one that saved my life.
That was their slogan, that was the banner they held high and marched and carried on in their fictional Black Parade. "This band will save your life", from awkward interview answer to personal lifeline. Those were the words that I held on to and gave as an excuse to everyone who looked down on me and my taste in music. After My Chemical Romance? There was no turning back.
This was the band that really got me into music. This is the band that inspired the weirdest themed outfits from me and the ugliest haircuts. This is the band that allowed me to sing out loud and not care about what people would think. This is the band that said, "you are not alone" and made me believe.
While everyone saw death and dark themes, I saw never forgetting that life was precious and you never know what's going to happen to you. Me and everyone else who listened to My Chem's music knew this. Whether they were part of the MCRmy or were just fans of the music, it didn't matter. We understood every chord, every drum beat, every screeching vocal, every line, every song. It was like everyone who was ever misunderstood, who was ever made fun of finally had someone- had something that stood by them and made it feel like someone really, truly believed in them.
I have to stop here before I start bursting into tears at the thought that there will no longer be new music to look forward to. That I will never get to experience listening to a new album straight for the first time, probably ever. That I never got to watch them live in concert and that in my head I always thought, "There's always next time".
There probably is no next time, and no matter how many times I wished they'd pull a Fall Out Boy three years from now and just make the world a better place with a new album and the promise of touring in my country? It's not going to happen just because I want it to.
The band, the members, the family- they all have different lives now compared to when they were trying to make it out there. They all have their wives and their children and their new projects and comics and music of their own to make. I assume that being in a band was holding them back from their new lives and things that were "more" important than the fans.
But it never really is over. And it's not really the end.
I have a piece of the band in me, and so does everyone else who's been a huge fan, or even those who just know one song, or even those who are only in it because of the physical attributes of certain members.
As Gerard Way put out there, "My Chemical Romance is not a band, it's an idea". The very idea that kick started concept albums and these moving, over the top concept music videos. The same idea that started these great comics and artworks. The idea that saved lives and helped other people realize just how beautiful they were in an ugly world. It just goes on and on and on.
And I can spout references and quote songs all day long, but if I learned anything from this band, if they left me with the great secrets of the universe? It would be the following...
1.) YOU ARE NOT ALONE
- this is a fact of life. And whether I feel lonely in a crowded room, or even a stranger to my own family, I know that someone out there is just like me and I know I'm not the only one.
2.) DISENCHANTED WILL MAKE EVERYTHING 1000 TIMES BETTER
- if you don't believe me, try listening to the song before you're about to do something you're afraid of, or if you're about to do something spectacular. Trust me, it's not just the lyrics, it's not just the music. The song is magic and it will help you get through anything. Job interviews, a tournament, a test, LIFE. Tried and tested, I promise.
3.) "YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BE COOL. SO STOP TRYING"
- these words hit me, and it really struck deep. Gerard probably meant that he didn't have to be anyone but himself, but it can also mean that he really thought that he was uncool. Either way, when you really think about it, even if it's beyond the valley of cliche. This was the truth and you better start believing it. You don't need to try to impress anyone, or to prove anything to people you don't even know. Everyone's awkward in their own right, in their own way. But your insecurities shouldn't bring you down.
You can only ever be yourself, so start believing in yourself and get blown away at how awesome it is to just be you and no one else.
4.) "AND REMEMBER WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MCR SAYS START A FVCKING BAND"
- from crazy guitarist to moving writer, Frank never ceases to amaze me. Take that leap of faith, and just do what makes you happy. Create, inspire, save the world.
I will miss Ray's crazy hair and mad guitar skillz, Frank's ability to do crazy guitar tricks and not break anything, Mikey's 360 degree change from that guy with glasses to the hot Way brother, Bob for being so cool even when he left and the song he wrote that went, "Oh Gerard you make my heart burn", and everyone who was part of the My Chem family. Other musicians + techs + bodyguards + roadie guys + wives and kids and supportive relatives included. I will miss all of them, everyone who had a part in the twelve years of this band, this family.
But most of all, I will miss my idol: that awkward geek to 9/11 survivor to stage diva to comic book artist to guy with Ronald McDonald's hair to husband to dad to Party Poison to the guy who saved my life.
Thank you.
"Aim for savior and end up being rad"
- >:)
