Almost. Maybe.

Picture this. Back in grade 4, which was eight years ago, I was the scrawny kid. The one who always knew random things, read The Adventures of Tintin and the comic section from newspapers at the library- the one who was always alone. And I mean literally, that forever alone kid. There would be random days when I'd hang with different people, but I never stuck to anyone (thinking about this now, I only started being legit best friends with Kit was when we were in grade 5). It was sad. But that was how things were if you talked in English, spoke Tagalog with a funny accent and wrong grammar and was too childish. I was that loser kid you never wanted to be, because I just never seemed to fit in with any of the cliques.

One thing I will never, ever forget was when we had this general assembly for our batch. We were at the gym and then suddenly there's this song that starts playing. Of course, everyone starts singing in unison.

As a kid I was stuck listening to my parents' music and my yayas' renditions of boy band singles. So obviously, I didn't know the song. I already felt so alone, but this. This was another level of aloneness.

I felt so... horrible. Worse than when my phone was stolen or when I accidentally hugged some random stranger because I thought he was my dad. 

That totally turned my life around. I vowed that I would never, ever experience being left out because of my music choices ever again.

I love Disney songs, Classical music, Joey Ayala, OPM classics: APO Hiking, Eraserheads, Yano, Rivermaya, Joey Ayala and Parokya ni Edgar; The Beatles and musicals we listened to as kids. I will always be thankful for and will never question my dad's music tastes. But back then as an angst-filled preteen, the only thing on my mind was fitting in. 

So I turned on the radio. And I listened, and listened, and listened. And listened.

In a few months time, I could easily pick up lyrics, I new the latest songs and bands. And surprisingly, though I still don't know how it happened or how the transition happened, I became famous or "popular" to a certain extent.

I've been listening since 2004 and still listen to the radio on my commute and anytime I'm not listening to my cds and music I find on the internet. It was like you hit the shuffle on your ipod, 'cause you'd be listening to pop first and then suddenly some hip hop track and then they'd be playing electro-whatevs next. And don't get me started on when I listen to alternative music on different channels. Call me old school, but that's kind of how I rolled.

Being a DJ has become this default dream job for me, especially if you're a kid who listened to the radio 24/7. You get really inspired by the voices bouncing off your speakers, your earphones and at some point want to have their life. Playing music, going to events, being famous. That's really how I envisioned the whole DJ lifestyle.

I auditioned for the DLSU's Green Giant DJ hunt last Friday. Coincidentally, it was also my birthday. 

The whole experience was pretty much intense. I sucked at impromptu and the part where they made you read something. What was scary was when they made me sing. 

But other than that, they asked me a lot of Adventure Time questions and a Which world would you want to live in? Harry Potter's or the Hunger Games question (Harry Potter duh) and the judges seemed serious but deep down just wanted to scare the banaynays out of me.

I resigned myself to the thought that I wouldn't make it. But I still listened to the announcement they did only a few hours ago. They actually announced that a "Carmelline" made it as a DJ. I freaked out, double checked the name and found out it wasn't me. So I stopped listening and just decided that I'll be better off in the Creatives pool of the radio station.

Only to find out a few minutes after I logged out of Green Giant's site.. that I actually made the cut-off.

I was just shocked. Same feeling when I made it as a Theresian DJ and a bandfest emcee back in fourth year. Totally unexpected. Seriously. Funny how life turns out for the underdog? I was in a bad mood today, but life happens.

Life happened on TWITTER and then on FB

To quote a statement from one of my brother's dance shirts: "TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED". 

I've got midterm exams for my major on Wednesday and I have to prove myself worthy of having the title of DJ. I still have a long way to go, but here's to chances and here's to trying.

- >:)

p.s.

1 of the 30 out of 200 + who auditioned.