It's not the end of the world as we know it

When the world doesn't end tomorrow (notice that it's not if but when), I hope all those who've resigned themselves that tomorrow was going to be a "way out for them"? Won't feel so bad that they'd have to live again trying.

Bad things happen all the time. When people break up, the world doesn't explode, even if some people think it's the end for them. It just doesn't. Doesn't work that way. We just keep on living.

And then eventually die, but that comes later. Or if you were that unlucky you'd have met an accident and ended your life just like that.

So if you're thinking, let's party because the world ends tomorrow? That's sad. Really. Because you should be saying this everyday: party because we're still alive and who knows what will happen tomorrow. Not just because the Mayans or anyone tells you that the world is ending. Everyday is ending, and then tomorrow happens. And if you're lucky the next day, and the next day and the next.

~

I'm pretty optimistic about next year. That's why we have a new year, it's to start things over. Get better. Try harder.

Moping about how stupid I feel, or about me not really trying hard enough? I'm really tired about that part of myself. The one that makes excuses for every single thing, rather than just accepting and actually doing something about it. Maybe I'm only saying that right now and then end up giving up in the middle and reverting back to my old ways. It may happen, but it hasn't.

Why am I being so sentimental? I got a new planner.

I've given up on my DIY planners, but only for next term. I want to try something new.

I bought a Slate 2013 planner. Here's me, crossing fingers that I don't stop using it. Like how my failure- the 2012 Filed planner- has been left unused and forgotten after the month of February. It never  even made it to the end of the school year. Tsk, such a waste really. And I was so excited about it too because of it's doodle friendly trademark. I expect too much.

So I pledge to actually "live creatively", not just with the planner- for the love of Gerard. My life's been pretty blegh, and it's my fault. I can't blame my parents' conservative views and their over-protectiveness. I blame my being a coward, for being too awkward with other people, and worst of all, for always, always over-thinking. I've been keeping people at an arm's length thinking things that haven't happened yet. It's all in the mind, it's all in my mind and it's really a pathetic way of thinking. Is it, what is it. Neurotic? I don't even know, man. It's already too weird, even for me. And I have to do something about it. Because waiting for people to accept me, or to fix me? That's not always going to happen.

I feel friendships drifting apart, and I haven't done anything about it. Maybe just watch as the world moves on without me and just let these great relationships with people slip through my fingers without them even happening.

I thought that the world was ugly- that it is ugly. Maybe it's a mess I have to clean up by myself.

Hey.

- >:)

I’ll be the one who drives you home tonight

Hi, I haven't seen you in awhile. How have you been?

Me? Oh, I've been feeling like a Hilera song for the past weeks. High fives all around if you get my awesome OPM reference. Not only have I been busy studying to fail my exams, but I've been feeling quite stupid because I'm surrounded by people who are crazy smart, and honestly? I just don't even care anymore. Okay, so maybe I do, but only because I don't want to fail any of my classes. And I just want this term to end. 

I've made a list of things I want to do before the year ends, nothing special or crazy like my Things To Do for 2012 List. Just stuff I want to do by myself or with other people. 

I want to stay up reading and listening to music, buried in my pillows and my blanket fort. I want to walk the streets of Manila until I find a vintage camera I've been looking for. Or a food trip, a Binondo food trip. I want to have a date with my baby brother, and maybe eat fries, drink milk tea with him and read him comics. I want to attend a GRRRL SCOUT MNL Boot Camp, just one before the year ends. I want to feel the sweater weather and wear boots everyday. I also want to get lost now now now.

But sadly, there's still so much to do before the school year officially comes to a close. I still have exams and papers to pass and as always- it's as if I have so little time.

I hope everyone's getting into the Christmas spirit. I know I am, even if I haven't made my annual letter to Santa yet. 

I hope you've also seen Rise of the Guardians already. The movie is so brilliant. I love eveything about it! I love how they designed all the characters, the cinematography, even the music was so gaaaahhh- amazing! And Jack Frost? Jack Frost made my heart burn.... freeze? 

I miss my camera. I've been looking at my old photos from last year, and it's sad that I can't post them here because I've used up all my memory space for pictures or something. Sigh.

I love the new song of My Chem. Okay, so technically it isn't really a new song, it's actually one of the many songs they didn't release. Until now. Conventional Weapons which features 10 unheard songs from the band, and they'll be releasing two songs for the next five months. I think it's really rad that they decided to put it out on vinyl as well and God knows how much I'd want all five LPs. I think it's sad that the first two are already sold out. Does anyone know where I can still order them tho?

Anyways, I think it's cool that they're allowing their fans to get a glimpse of their songs, songs that they never thought they could release in their old albums. Listen to the song Ambulance, which is the A-Side track from Number Two. For me it has the same effect Disenchanted had for me, or maybe even My Way Home Is Through You. But yeah, mostly Disenchanted. It's the song that calmed me down before a test, a song I'd listen to when I feel so down and the song I'd listen to whenever I'm about to embark on uncharted territory and I'd just feel better about being me. I've been listening to it on repeat. A way to clear my head with everything that's been going on with school lately.

I hope you're looking forward to the Christmas vacation as much as I am.

- >:)