It's not the end of the world as we know it

When the world doesn't end tomorrow (notice that it's not if but when), I hope all those who've resigned themselves that tomorrow was going to be a "way out for them"? Won't feel so bad that they'd have to live again trying.

Bad things happen all the time. When people break up, the world doesn't explode, even if some people think it's the end for them. It just doesn't. Doesn't work that way. We just keep on living.

And then eventually die, but that comes later. Or if you were that unlucky you'd have met an accident and ended your life just like that.

So if you're thinking, let's party because the world ends tomorrow? That's sad. Really. Because you should be saying this everyday: party because we're still alive and who knows what will happen tomorrow. Not just because the Mayans or anyone tells you that the world is ending. Everyday is ending, and then tomorrow happens. And if you're lucky the next day, and the next day and the next.

~

I'm pretty optimistic about next year. That's why we have a new year, it's to start things over. Get better. Try harder.

Moping about how stupid I feel, or about me not really trying hard enough? I'm really tired about that part of myself. The one that makes excuses for every single thing, rather than just accepting and actually doing something about it. Maybe I'm only saying that right now and then end up giving up in the middle and reverting back to my old ways. It may happen, but it hasn't.

Why am I being so sentimental? I got a new planner.

I've given up on my DIY planners, but only for next term. I want to try something new.

I bought a Slate 2013 planner. Here's me, crossing fingers that I don't stop using it. Like how my failure- the 2012 Filed planner- has been left unused and forgotten after the month of February. It never  even made it to the end of the school year. Tsk, such a waste really. And I was so excited about it too because of it's doodle friendly trademark. I expect too much.

So I pledge to actually "live creatively", not just with the planner- for the love of Gerard. My life's been pretty blegh, and it's my fault. I can't blame my parents' conservative views and their over-protectiveness. I blame my being a coward, for being too awkward with other people, and worst of all, for always, always over-thinking. I've been keeping people at an arm's length thinking things that haven't happened yet. It's all in the mind, it's all in my mind and it's really a pathetic way of thinking. Is it, what is it. Neurotic? I don't even know, man. It's already too weird, even for me. And I have to do something about it. Because waiting for people to accept me, or to fix me? That's not always going to happen.

I feel friendships drifting apart, and I haven't done anything about it. Maybe just watch as the world moves on without me and just let these great relationships with people slip through my fingers without them even happening.

I thought that the world was ugly- that it is ugly. Maybe it's a mess I have to clean up by myself.

Hey.

- >:)