It's not the end of the world as we know it

When the world doesn't end tomorrow (notice that it's not if but when), I hope all those who've resigned themselves that tomorrow was going to be a "way out for them"? Won't feel so bad that they'd have to live again trying.

Bad things happen all the time. When people break up, the world doesn't explode, even if some people think it's the end for them. It just doesn't. Doesn't work that way. We just keep on living.

And then eventually die, but that comes later. Or if you were that unlucky you'd have met an accident and ended your life just like that.

So if you're thinking, let's party because the world ends tomorrow? That's sad. Really. Because you should be saying this everyday: party because we're still alive and who knows what will happen tomorrow. Not just because the Mayans or anyone tells you that the world is ending. Everyday is ending, and then tomorrow happens. And if you're lucky the next day, and the next day and the next.

~

I'm pretty optimistic about next year. That's why we have a new year, it's to start things over. Get better. Try harder.

Moping about how stupid I feel, or about me not really trying hard enough? I'm really tired about that part of myself. The one that makes excuses for every single thing, rather than just accepting and actually doing something about it. Maybe I'm only saying that right now and then end up giving up in the middle and reverting back to my old ways. It may happen, but it hasn't.

Why am I being so sentimental? I got a new planner.

I've given up on my DIY planners, but only for next term. I want to try something new.

I bought a Slate 2013 planner. Here's me, crossing fingers that I don't stop using it. Like how my failure- the 2012 Filed planner- has been left unused and forgotten after the month of February. It never  even made it to the end of the school year. Tsk, such a waste really. And I was so excited about it too because of it's doodle friendly trademark. I expect too much.

So I pledge to actually "live creatively", not just with the planner- for the love of Gerard. My life's been pretty blegh, and it's my fault. I can't blame my parents' conservative views and their over-protectiveness. I blame my being a coward, for being too awkward with other people, and worst of all, for always, always over-thinking. I've been keeping people at an arm's length thinking things that haven't happened yet. It's all in the mind, it's all in my mind and it's really a pathetic way of thinking. Is it, what is it. Neurotic? I don't even know, man. It's already too weird, even for me. And I have to do something about it. Because waiting for people to accept me, or to fix me? That's not always going to happen.

I feel friendships drifting apart, and I haven't done anything about it. Maybe just watch as the world moves on without me and just let these great relationships with people slip through my fingers without them even happening.

I thought that the world was ugly- that it is ugly. Maybe it's a mess I have to clean up by myself.

Hey.

- >:)

dying to meet you

Just had the best kimchi, like ever. Seriously good stuff. I have the best bfffff in the world. Saving it for bfast tomorrow.

When I think of Friday, I immediately remember this Thursday. We were heading to the parking lot after spending the entire day at Six Flags. Our uncle who never really spoke a word of Tagalog started singing his on rendition of the song Friday. It went like this: "It's Biyernes, Biyernes. Gotta get down on Biyernes". Dancing was included.

I am seriously psyched for tomorrow. T.G.I.F. is not enough to express just how thankful I am that it's already the weekend. It will be a sort of lonely Friday, but I'll survive. It will be hard, but I'll be alright.

Another reason why I'm looking forward to a few more hours is the fact that I also have fantastic plans. My morning should start out right and my day should end with the BAMF-ing up of my universe. I am commuting to school with The Hamster. It will be too early in the morning, but I can already tell just how much of the funny he will share with me in a few hours. I will also have bfast with my homie. We don't get to hang that much anymore. It's my sched's fault. So there will be take out fries involved. Wait. Is there fries early in the morning? Hmmm... Crossing my fingers.

It's been a week since the EP launch of this amazing band called She's Only Sixteen. Despite me not being able to attend the event, I was able to make sure that I could get a copy of the album. And finally, I will be able to hold it in my hands. Gaaahhh, I wish I had batteries for my walkman. I want to listen to it as soon as I get it from a triplet. Also the EP will be available in music stores. I won't feel so hipster when everyone starts listening to them. Le sigh. But people should know how fantastic they are. It's a small price to pay. But we must do our best to support local music. They are the voice of the people of the revolution. You won't be fooled.

I will save the best for last, so the BAMF-ing will be the best part. The last time I've seen her was last August. I don't know how I survived. It took me so much sheer willpower and guts to make it through the wilderness. Without my BAMF I am nothing, I am nothing without my BAMF. So you can only imagine how excited I am to see her tomorrow. It will involve fries (again) and lots of purikuras at Timezone. It will be so fantastic.

Also I ninja sense that my cheeks will hurt so much tomorrow. Must ready my cheeks for the pinching spree that will go down.

Almost forgot one thing. Hugs. There will be hugs for my huggle buddy. I don't think I will be able to let go. I can do nothing but listen. And be mad. And give virtual text hugs.

But I don't think they are ever enough.

~

Dear Douchebag of the Year Awardee,

Don't break a girl's heart, it's already fragile and precious to begin with. Dudes that are part girls have bulletproof hearts, but a girl's heart must be handled with so much tender loving and care.

Don't mess with a girl's heart because she's willing to give it to you and you wouldn't even need to ask. She'll do it because she can. And because she cares for you that much.

And don't you ever make her cry. Or I will punch you in the face, I will kick you where the sun don't shine, I will give you a German suplex to your left cheek. So don't you dare. If you mess with any of my grrrls?

I will end you.

You better watch out douchebag.

p.s.

What the hell is wrong with you? God.

- >:)

don't lie about cookies

I have the worst timing. Ever. It's funny how I still don't get it, I mean I have eighteen years of evidence to prove it. Worst timing. Ever.

Today was a fail pail day. Le fantastic plans were practically thrown out the window by the time I got the text message reading that classes got suspended. So no fantastic plans, no getting to have bfast or lunch with my bffff, and no boarding. And even if the weather made me want to make myself a human slug, out of over sized sweaters and warm comforters, it still wasn't cool that I didn't get to board today. I wouldn't mind staying late at school, or trying to catch the last train ride, or swimming in flood water just so that I'd be able to keep doing what I do. It's tiring and all, but I think that's sort of what makes the DJ life real different and special. Just the thought of being able to share music is already overwhelming. It's almost like living the dream, just imagine how much more if I could actually do this for a living. One day.

For now I have readings and court cases (I don't even know what for, but whatevs, Sir Cogpsyc's cute. And he keeps calling me during recitation. It's either he finds me amusing or he just really likes torturing his students. It must be me because I'm so amazeballs >:) Yeah, right), there's a video and cupcakes that need to be baked. Also there is peanut butter that is not actually made of peanut and butter, also there are taco shells. There's so much to do, but all I've done since I got home was sleep, sleep and sleep. I guess I really won't be sleeping tonight as well.

Also mom's going to Cebu again, so I'm crossing my fingers she actually gets me a ukelele this time. All she ever brings back is dried mangoes, not like it's a bad thing. It's just that I've been asking her for a ukelele whenever she goes on these trips, and every time she gets back she's always apologizing for not finding the time to get me one. And then hands me a pack of dried mangoes. So I'm trying to compensate for being ukelele-less. I know they aren't the same, but I've been trying to play the guitar. Trying being the operative verb here. Sadly, my fingers are as messed up as my tear ducts and everything else that comes with the package that is Arielle Sindac. But I still try. I've been trying since and now my pinky hurts. I can never really get chord changes, my fingers really don't like to stress themselves out so they barely cooperate. I wish Ate would stop fangirling too much so we can jam again, and so that she could play the guitar instead of me doing a sad excuse for strumming and so that my pinky wouldn't hurt. Her excuse is that she has finals tomorrow. But she isn't studying. The cookies weren't music inducing this time. Shame. Cookie inspired songs are the best. 

Yup, I baked cookies today. I wouldn't know how the cookies tasted like since I'm vegan-edge at the moment. Some people said they that they tasted AMAAAAAZING but then Cyrilo said, "They taste like crap. Don't ever bake those cookies ever again." I hope no one was lying to me about the cookies. I want people to be completely honest with me, especially when it comes to food. Always with food. So maybe I'm sort of glad the fantastic plans didn't turn out the way I wanted to. I wouldn't want to be dumped because of cookies. That would be very, very sad.

Isn't it amazing that there's just so much good music out there and it's like it's your task to actually go out there and find it for yourself? I wish le internet connection wasn't so weird. I really want to download more beat tapes, the sound is just really perfect for this kind of weather. Also it's really difficult to download the complete albums of indie artists. Especially if they're named Pond and what usually pops out are pictures of actual ponds.

~

12:34

This is kind of mean, but I wish classes would be suspended today as well. I'm serious. I want to spend time with my best grrls without being afraid of not making my earlier commitments for today. So please. Weather? Please? Crossing my fingers.  

- >:)

how I've missed you

I cut class just so that I can finish cleaning my room.

My side of the room was starting to resemble Mordor for the past few weeks and mom gave me a warning this morning before she left for work. I got the shivers when she closed the door to the girls' room, and it was not because of the sweater weather. I don't want a repeat of when I woke up to a clean room, but with Arielle junk piled by the stairs, all in plastic bags ready to be thrown away and given to macho basureros.

So after my second class, I ninja flew all the way home in order to clean le room. Still had enough time to drop by a store to buy something tho'. It's for le fantastic plans >:) that's all I can say.

~

The room is not of Mordor proportions, but it's still not as clean for the parental units' standards. But whatevs, man. I can see my bed! Finally! No moar crashing on the couch. I'm seriously praying my bed takes me back, rips up the divorce papers and marries me again. I miss my bed.

I know it missed me too.

Speaking of beds. I've been having pretty.... odd dreams since Saturday night. No pictures under my pillow dreams, but they were. Darn. No words can describe how weird they were. Oh, Arielle's subconscious what the hey hey is up with you right now?

Don't feel like sleeping. So many beat tapes need to be listened to.

For my 11:11 wish later, I will wish that I will not have a fail pail day tomorrow. I have fantastic plans!

And jazz hands. And funky fingers.

- >:)

p.s.
Seriously tho, the dreams? So very, very odd.

eyes. get it?

I am in love with beat tapes. Seriously. Local music is so amazing.

I cannot rave on twitter, so I will do it here.

I have been trying to download free albums since forever. They are all beautiful.

I think the cover art is beautiful.

I feel sad whenever the download takes forever. But I must soldier on. For my musical sensibilities.

I cry whenever the link gets broken. But I must click refresh. It is for my ears.

I must learn how to be patient with music. I have to let it come to me.

I need sleep, but I cannot sleep. It's already 1 something.

I cannot feel my fingers. This couch is amazing. I have no moar bed. It has asked for a divorce.

I will collapse tomorrow. Will you catch me? Or let me roll down the stairs? Mental picture is funny.

I want a lightsaber. A ninja with a lightsaber sounds so cool.

I really want a burrito. A vegan burrito is not the same. Sad, sad carrot.

I am going to name my ulcer after you.

- >:)

you mean like the f- word?

I think I'll start saying that every time someone says, "Swear!".

If you're a Sindac kid then you usually spend the Sundays hearing mass, then heading over to your grandparents' house for lunch and then it's either you go home or you hit the nearest mall and watch a movie. We were lucky enough to get the option of watching a movie. I really didn't want to go home right away. It meant that I had to clean my room. Which I wasn't really keen on doing anytime soon.

Yeah, I know. I am a lazy bum. I'll figure where to sleep when it's like12 in the morning. In the meantime I'd rather watch a movie.

We were supposed to watch Dredd, but I asked dad if we can watch ParaNorman instead. Dad was really pushing for us to watch the former, but even if it was this really cool movie I doubt me and my sibling would've really enjoyed since we had no idea what the movie was about. Even if it looked so badass and jam-packed with action based off the trailer. Screw us or whatevs for not knowing about Dredd, but we're really uncool and dorky in our own rights. At least we ain't posers.

And turns out the movie had an R-16 rating, meaning my two bros wouldn't be able to watch. So we really had no choice but to go with my suggestion and watch ParaNorman. No way in the hey hey will I watch The Mistress. Le gross.

We had like an hour and something something minutes before the show starts so we headed straight to Toys R Us. I laugh at how me and my siblings are such babies sometimes. Ced brought his new lightsaber toy so I had to hide it under my shirt so we wouldn't be accused of stealing when we entered the store. It was kind of obvious so I had to do a "thief technique" by tucking it in my back, like it was under my shirt but inside my shorts. I don't know if your mental picture's right, but it's not as bad as it sounds. But I did have a lightsaber down my back... so it was pretty hard for me to walk around.

I don't know why, but Ced started getting addicted to Star Wars. I mean, my whole fam (okay maybe not mom) has this special place in our hearts reserved for Star Wars feels. It's all thanks to our dad and super geek tita, but it was still funny when Ced started asking us to have marathons with him. He's nine years old and wasn't even born yet when were already having lightsaber fights and trying to grow out our hair for side braids ala apprentice style. The generation gap is so obvious, but it's cool that we have a new thing that we can all relate to as siblings. That and we need to have another Naruto movie marathon. I am solely responsible for my brothers' geeking out over Naruto as well, and I take full responsibility for it.

So we basically just act like complete dorks whenever we come upon a toy section that we hearted. You can only imagine how I was when I saw the Ben 10 display and when I discovered that there was actually a display of BMX. I wish I were in Japan. I want the real BMX, the one that you have to assemble and you can use it to fight and rule the world- just like the evil people did in the anime. But sadly, this is the Philippines. I would just have to make do with the figurines.

Because I will always be part of the Dark Side.... I heard they had cookies..

LBX ♥ 

Spent my summer falling in love with Emperor M2. I think I died inside when this got destroyed during the anime. But I think I died even moar when I saw the price of this baby. I am le poor. Someone make me happy and get me this beautiful BMX

Was shocked when I saw these. My heart broke when I saw Marceline's figurine....

Please. Original AT merch? Yes, please.

Whuuut. Jake what happened to your bombastic personality?

It's a sparkle unicorn! Totally buying this because it has an "S" on it's butt >:)

Might go back here on Thursday. I have fantastic plans. I think I can get enough moolah to actually buy a lightsaber. Yes. I am eighteen years old and will but that lightsaber. Because of perfectly good reasons. One, I am going to buy it for Friday; two, so that me and Ced can be dorks together (I told you I was all jelly over him having one) aaaand three, so I can be the really cool older sister come Friday.

So what was happening on Friday? Well, Arielle Sindac has a special A rank mission. She must babysit a brother and get free food. And ride the freaking Octopus. So yes, in order for the mission to be successful a ninja must be equipped with a lightsaber. It's for the bb boys to go all, "Woaahhh" and "Ced, is that your sister? Why is she so cool?" and this is where I answer, "Dude... I'm like totally uncool."

~

ParaNorman was freaking cool!:D Turned out better than I expected. I am totally digging Norman's character. He's like the kid I always wished I could be back when I was trying to convert to Wiccan and had tons of witchcraft books. He may have been the outcast at school for having too much zombie memorabilia and the ability to communicate with ghosts? But I would have seriously given my right lung if I was just like him when I was a kid. And the quotes from the movie, man. Seriously funny. I think I was laughing the whole time. Also this movie is kind of like Adventure Time, in how it's not really just meant for kids. You have to watch the movie to get why =))

I heart Halloween kid movies, because they are adorable and I will forever be afraid of horror movies. I am too much of a carrot to actually really enjoy movies like that for I have an overactive imagination and I might just dream myself some creepy old lady or slasher crazy person in my dreamworld. Nu-uh dude, my dreamworld is reserved for my crushes and like, burritos. Yeah, burritos.

Speaking of Halloween, cannot wait for the Halloween party at my STC friend's place! My hair is not even of Marceline proportions, but I cannot wait to try and dress up like her. I mean, it's way different than trying to channel her badass personality with what I wear on a daily basis. But not everyone can rock an axe-bass and float everywhere. So yeah. Halloween.

Will start a vegan diet. Again. I really need the vegan powers. I shall be a ninja with vegan powers.

And commit cannibalism by eating fellow carrots.

I've also been trying to expand my taste in music. Now I am in love with local beat tapes.

- >:)

p.s.

Seriously. Will seriously start bringing my camera. I need photographic evidence of my adventurin's.

a date and a sleepover

So I've been spazzing about going out with one of my favorite people since July. But since life sometimes gets in the way of everything that is supposed to make me real happy? I actually had to wait for two months for this date.

After forever and ever, I finally got to have a date with my Ninang Vicky!

I heart heart heart her so much. Her presence always has this calming effect on me, I can just make kwento about how my life and she will never judge me for my craziness. And here's a really cool trivia about her: she's been best friends with my daddy since their frosh year. They're living proof that a dude and a girl can totally have a completely platonic relationship with each other, and their friendship is just beyond inspiring. I'm just really AHA! 'cause this kind of best friendship apparently does exist.

Anyway, we usually start our dates with a gab session at Starbucks Salcedo, then I accompany her during her grocery run at Salcedo Market, then have lunch at a real sweet resto, and end the day just chilling for desserts. I usually just do most of the talking at first, and then she'll give me advice and then make kwento. I mixed things up a little bit by bringing her a box of red velvet cupcakes that I baked for her. Even if we don't get to meet all the time, I keep her updated about what I've been up to via messages on facebook. I know she takes the time, despite her busy schedule to read my daily rants and girl feels. I really wanted her to taste my cupcakes and how much they've improved over a year since I gave her a sample of my cherry cupcakes. I think my face hurt so much when she told me they were real good, coming from her. I think I was blushing like a guurrrl from the compliment.

So yeah, there was a lot of talking from me and advice coming from her side of the conversation. She always says the best things, reassuring me that I'm a normal human being, that I'm going to be okay. I swear to Gerard, I think my chakra levels were off the charts yesterday. My ego got a real boost and I just kept saying, "Thank you! Oh my gosh!" the whole time. I was literally swimming in compliments and turning so red from it all. She really does make me super happy and feel real special and just by simply telling me the things I need to hear. She's my godmother, so as my not-parent, she lectures me without making me feel hurt like how I usually feel whenever I'm scolded by my parents.

 She loves taking pictures of flowers, and her shots are always so beautiful

 Her veggie buys.

 Roti prata she bought for me! My fave Indian food

 My ninang taught me something new about taking pictures. How your photos should always have a story behind the photo or should tell a story. That the light settings could wait, what matters is the story.

 You can't see, but I dressed up as Marceline. In an XXL red sweatshirt + leggings + boots

 Roti prata from Banana Leaf for lunch

 She made me choose whatever is that I needed for baking and she'd get it as a late b-day present

 YES, PLEASE ♥

 This was just so sinful, I think I might just marry it.

Whenever we did get to sit down, eat and then talk? I would always feel so overwhelmed with happiness after every conversation. Like I said, she just really makes me feel so darn special. The whole time she just kept telling me that she was proud of where I was at life- congratulating me about my cupcake business and getting in as a DJ. She always kept reminding me to just enjoy life as it is, that I shouldn't feel pressured about not knowing what I want to do in the future. And that everything was gonna be okay, and that I was an okay kid. She of course told me that I still good grades. Nice:))

So we spent the entire day together, and it's been a really long time since I've felt this calm and real happy about where I am right now in life. Maybe the good food and great company really helped. All I can think about was that I was off to a real good start for my September, and that the long wait of getting to see my ninang was definitely worth it.

~

After being dropped off at the nearest MRT station, I just couldn't wait to get home. I mean, I really enjoyed the day, but I won't say I wasn't tired as heck. Been staying up all night for the past weeks has started a toll on my body. I can tell that anytime soon I'll just crash and burn and get real sick. While waiting for my parents to fetch me an amazing thing happens. Karina calls me. And sharing the same line is Adielynn!

Okay, so Adielynn is one of my best friends from grade school who moved to the States after graduation. Here's something really funny about our friendship: we used to fight a lot back in grade school. It was usually over how I, Arielle Sindac the meanest person ever, thought that Uchiha Sasuke was the gayest thing that ever came to existence. And back in 2005, Adielynn had a huuuuge crush on him and even if she was my friend, I would remind her that Sasuke and Naruto were dating. We'd always fight, but at the end of the day would always find the time to make up and be friends again.

The three of us: me, Karina and Adielynn, have actually known each other since prep. We were six years old aaaand we were classmates. What were the odds that we'd get real close and be this really awesome best girl trio? So yeah, they called me and it was the perfect opportunity to pass the time waiting for my parents.

I bet if anyone passed by the waiting area that time because I was so darn loud when I was on the phone, they'd probably slowly back away. I was on a roll, I was actually back to me my old grade school self- back when I actually thought I was funny. I was just making them laugh, coming up with crazy plans about looking for a boyfriend for Karina. I even got this crazy idea that the three of us could start a blog together and just fill it with three very different adventures and perspectives of life. But the conversation had to end, they told me that thew were buying balut and rubbing it in my face for not being there to share almost fertilized duck eggs with them. For they were having a sleepover, and even if I was invited, I wasn't allowed to go.

And so when my parents finally fetched me, I told them about how my date with my ninang went. How I got real sweet bday gifts and that I was such a full and happy carrot. Of course I couldn't help but mention that Adielynn was at Karina's house. Having a sleepover. Without me. And having the time of their lives. Without me. So I wasn't trying hard or anything, I swear to Gerard I didn't even ask! But my mom goes, "Gusto mong humabol?", and I was like, "Yes, please". And then mom goes, "Okay, when you get home get your stuff and dad will bring you there.", by the time she said that my face looked like this :O. "Are you... serious?", I ask warily and she replies, "Do you think I'm not?"

My fingers freaking fly, I had to text my best girls the news. So yeah, I lack the element of surprise, where I could've chosen to just ring their doorbell and surprise my beffies. But I was to darn excited. This was my first legit sleepover. Finally! After 18 years and a month? Thank you mom and dad.

My parental units are cool, okay. It's just that sometimes, MOST of the time they're really strict and have conservative views- especially to me and my sister. That when my Karina and Adielynn found out, Karina told me that her parents were also shocked that I was allowed as well. Ah, sweet freedom at last. Shocking, but still sweet.

When we got home I just placed whatever I could grab and stuffed it in my back pack. I also had to bring my laptop with me, because I still had a lot of school shizz to finish. Was supposed to just spend the night doing it at home, how was I supposed to know that my mom would be the epitome of cool and evil surprise meets oh my gosh why are you so nice today? Also in my rush to get all my stuff together, my phone's screen got a crack. It's a yaya phone, but whatevs, man. Who puts her phone in the bottom bag, with a laptop + charger + a book + my clothes + food stuff + toiletries? Meeeeeeee.

You can only imagine all the hugging and laughing and girly squealing that came when I finally made it to Karina's house. Stupid traffic, getting in the way of me being with them. They were eating balut and had some leftover isaw for me. Super super happy day. A date with a favorite person in the world and ending the day with my best girls. September's off to a good start! Booyah, Jester's dead!

 After 2 years! Gaaahhh, finally together again!

 My best girls ♥

 Maya, Karina's bb sister, looking at me thinking, "You crazy person youuuu"

 Me, trying to finish some requirements :((

 We ordered a happy bundle 'cause Adielynn was craving for chicken. Made chicken songs while we were waiting for Mcdo delivery guy

We just talked and they danced while I tried to feed off what little internet connection they had; and we all ate and ate and ate, we made songs about chicken while we were waiting for the Mcdo delivery guy,  aaaand Iwas such a pro multi-tasker that night.

If I'm correct it was around 1 something when we decided to move from our awesome party space to the bedroom. Adielynn was feeling sleepy and we were in the middle of watching A Crazy Little Thing Called Love, that Thai movie starring Mario Maurer. So before we continued watching/laughing like crazy, we changed into our house clothes. And we took more pictures.

 Me in Mom's old engineer!shirt, it's one of my fave pambahay shirts 'cause it's all comfy that it's hole-y

While waiting I was looking for old pictures with the three of us and I actually found our old pictures from 2010. Lol, I look so weird with my bowl cut head. If you And that my fave pose back then was sticking my tongue out at weird angles. Oh, dear lord. Wish I could find our pictures from grade school, now that probably would just kill me if I had to look at my weird oh, so awkward grade school self. And I also want to show that ever since I was always the shortest in our trio. Never grew =))

So we got to finish the movie, and all we got from it was abs from laughing at Mario's accent when he goes, "Oh, you are so beautipul, I hab to keess you". We've been repeating that line over and ooooover again. It was just too darn funny. So yeah, laughing-induced abs aside, we were really sleepy at some point. And even if we were trying to stay awake one by one we all just conked out. Also, I just want to apologize to Karina, because my phone would alarm every hour.

We woke up at around 5:30 and watched Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. And I wasn't able to eat moar mini pancakes for breakfast 'cause I was fetched early. But whatevs, best 12 hours ever.

We have so much to do and we have so little time. I think we have only until November to hang out before Adielynn goes back to the States

- >:)