Soupy

School shizz + trying to cram a lifetime of psychology knowledge + masterbaking + waking up + going  home late late + laundry + multi-tasking + looking for new music = the slow death of one Arielle Sindac.

It's amazing that I'm still standing and haven't keeled over from all the stress overload. Also I am amazed that I haven't started packing my runaway from home bag from all the exams I've been failing. I seriously don't know how le smart people do it? Like for someone in a slightly above average IQ it takes a lot of study crazy effort just for me to actually cram stuff inside my brain. And then when the actual test comes my brain just dies from trying to recall all that information. So yeah, I've been failing exams for my major subjects. It's that bad.

I remember back in grade school when I resigned myself to the fact that I will always get line of 7 grades. It's the thought that hey, I'll never get to be smart, I'll never get passing grades for my parents' standards no matter how hard I try. I got content with just seeing my almost passing grades. That "failing" wasn't bad at all. But the thing is- the sad thing is- that was almost 10 years ago. It was a very, very long time ago.

Aaaaand it doesn't help that I'm in college. And I'm sucking in a bad way.

I'm too busy to a point that I can't even vent out in my personal space of the internet. S darn busy that I don't even have the patience to upload pictures for memory's sake. I'm just too blegh all the time. And so very tired. The only thing that gets me going is the thought that I still have to step it up when it comes to my school work and that it's almost Christmas vacation. Meaning it's almost Christmas. Le duh.

Also this afternoon I got a sad slap to the face by reality. It hurt so baaaad.

It was all because I was flicking through channels when me and a couple of friends were watching awhile ago. And I apparently I was the only one who still watched "stupid" cartoons. It just so happened that The Amazing World of Gumball was on CN and I was all, "Yeaaahhh!" and they were all, "Oh my god you still watch this show? How old are you?" What made it even more sad was that they didn't even understand how to "watch" the show. They were asking questions like all the time, and most of the time I was thinking that they were indirectly making me fun of me. But whatevs, man. Sheesh. You just watch and like laugh at the parts that were funny (which meant the whole time) and not have to get anything.

You just watch. But they didn't get it. So I had to change the channel. 

Because I was a ninja and ninjas put other people's happiness first.

- >:)

p.s.

I'm sorry for being soupy all the time. Sometimes I feel bad because I feel like I'm surrounded by people who are not-stupid but don't know how to laugh at the simple- kid things.

don't lie about cookies

I have the worst timing. Ever. It's funny how I still don't get it, I mean I have eighteen years of evidence to prove it. Worst timing. Ever.

Today was a fail pail day. Le fantastic plans were practically thrown out the window by the time I got the text message reading that classes got suspended. So no fantastic plans, no getting to have bfast or lunch with my bffff, and no boarding. And even if the weather made me want to make myself a human slug, out of over sized sweaters and warm comforters, it still wasn't cool that I didn't get to board today. I wouldn't mind staying late at school, or trying to catch the last train ride, or swimming in flood water just so that I'd be able to keep doing what I do. It's tiring and all, but I think that's sort of what makes the DJ life real different and special. Just the thought of being able to share music is already overwhelming. It's almost like living the dream, just imagine how much more if I could actually do this for a living. One day.

For now I have readings and court cases (I don't even know what for, but whatevs, Sir Cogpsyc's cute. And he keeps calling me during recitation. It's either he finds me amusing or he just really likes torturing his students. It must be me because I'm so amazeballs >:) Yeah, right), there's a video and cupcakes that need to be baked. Also there is peanut butter that is not actually made of peanut and butter, also there are taco shells. There's so much to do, but all I've done since I got home was sleep, sleep and sleep. I guess I really won't be sleeping tonight as well.

Also mom's going to Cebu again, so I'm crossing my fingers she actually gets me a ukelele this time. All she ever brings back is dried mangoes, not like it's a bad thing. It's just that I've been asking her for a ukelele whenever she goes on these trips, and every time she gets back she's always apologizing for not finding the time to get me one. And then hands me a pack of dried mangoes. So I'm trying to compensate for being ukelele-less. I know they aren't the same, but I've been trying to play the guitar. Trying being the operative verb here. Sadly, my fingers are as messed up as my tear ducts and everything else that comes with the package that is Arielle Sindac. But I still try. I've been trying since and now my pinky hurts. I can never really get chord changes, my fingers really don't like to stress themselves out so they barely cooperate. I wish Ate would stop fangirling too much so we can jam again, and so that she could play the guitar instead of me doing a sad excuse for strumming and so that my pinky wouldn't hurt. Her excuse is that she has finals tomorrow. But she isn't studying. The cookies weren't music inducing this time. Shame. Cookie inspired songs are the best. 

Yup, I baked cookies today. I wouldn't know how the cookies tasted like since I'm vegan-edge at the moment. Some people said they that they tasted AMAAAAAZING but then Cyrilo said, "They taste like crap. Don't ever bake those cookies ever again." I hope no one was lying to me about the cookies. I want people to be completely honest with me, especially when it comes to food. Always with food. So maybe I'm sort of glad the fantastic plans didn't turn out the way I wanted to. I wouldn't want to be dumped because of cookies. That would be very, very sad.

Isn't it amazing that there's just so much good music out there and it's like it's your task to actually go out there and find it for yourself? I wish le internet connection wasn't so weird. I really want to download more beat tapes, the sound is just really perfect for this kind of weather. Also it's really difficult to download the complete albums of indie artists. Especially if they're named Pond and what usually pops out are pictures of actual ponds.

~

12:34

This is kind of mean, but I wish classes would be suspended today as well. I'm serious. I want to spend time with my best grrls without being afraid of not making my earlier commitments for today. So please. Weather? Please? Crossing my fingers.  

- >:)

how I've missed you

I cut class just so that I can finish cleaning my room.

My side of the room was starting to resemble Mordor for the past few weeks and mom gave me a warning this morning before she left for work. I got the shivers when she closed the door to the girls' room, and it was not because of the sweater weather. I don't want a repeat of when I woke up to a clean room, but with Arielle junk piled by the stairs, all in plastic bags ready to be thrown away and given to macho basureros.

So after my second class, I ninja flew all the way home in order to clean le room. Still had enough time to drop by a store to buy something tho'. It's for le fantastic plans >:) that's all I can say.

~

The room is not of Mordor proportions, but it's still not as clean for the parental units' standards. But whatevs, man. I can see my bed! Finally! No moar crashing on the couch. I'm seriously praying my bed takes me back, rips up the divorce papers and marries me again. I miss my bed.

I know it missed me too.

Speaking of beds. I've been having pretty.... odd dreams since Saturday night. No pictures under my pillow dreams, but they were. Darn. No words can describe how weird they were. Oh, Arielle's subconscious what the hey hey is up with you right now?

Don't feel like sleeping. So many beat tapes need to be listened to.

For my 11:11 wish later, I will wish that I will not have a fail pail day tomorrow. I have fantastic plans!

And jazz hands. And funky fingers.

- >:)

p.s.
Seriously tho, the dreams? So very, very odd.

waiting

While waiting for my photos from last Friday to finally complete uploading I have a discovered a scary truth about the universe. Peanut butter is actually vegan. It does not have butter. It's just peanut and sugar. I've always thought that it was peanut mixed with butter- hence the name Peanut butter. I think I need a moment to process this revelation. 

I can slowly feel the vegan powers, pumping through my veins. I miss real food, but soy stuff isn't all that bad.

->:)

eyes. get it?

I am in love with beat tapes. Seriously. Local music is so amazing.

I cannot rave on twitter, so I will do it here.

I have been trying to download free albums since forever. They are all beautiful.

I think the cover art is beautiful.

I feel sad whenever the download takes forever. But I must soldier on. For my musical sensibilities.

I cry whenever the link gets broken. But I must click refresh. It is for my ears.

I must learn how to be patient with music. I have to let it come to me.

I need sleep, but I cannot sleep. It's already 1 something.

I cannot feel my fingers. This couch is amazing. I have no moar bed. It has asked for a divorce.

I will collapse tomorrow. Will you catch me? Or let me roll down the stairs? Mental picture is funny.

I want a lightsaber. A ninja with a lightsaber sounds so cool.

I really want a burrito. A vegan burrito is not the same. Sad, sad carrot.

I am going to name my ulcer after you.

- >:)